Quotes From "So Long And Thanks For All The Fish" By Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast. Douglas Adams

It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see.."" You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"" No, " said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."" Odd, " said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."" I did, " said Ford. "It is."" So, " said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"" It honestly doesn't occur to them, " said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."" You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"" Oh yes, " said Ford with a shrug, "of course."" But, " said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?""Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, " said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"" What?"" I said, " said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"" I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again." Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them, " he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."" But that's terrible, " said Arthur."Listen, bud, " said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin. . Douglas Adams

They found a coin and helped him to the telescope. He complained and insulted them, but they helped him look at each individual letter in turn. The first letter was a 'w, ' the second an 'e.' Then there was a gap. An 'a' followed, then a 'p, ' an 'o, ' and an 'l.'Marvin paused for a rest. After a few moments they resumed and let him see the 'o, ' the 'g, ' the 'i, ' the 'z, ' and the 'e.'The next two words were 'for' and 'the.' The last one was a long one, and Marvin needed another rest before the could tackle it. It started with 'i, ' then 'n, ' then 'c.' Next came an 'o' and an 'n, ' followed by a 'v, ' an 'e, ' another 'n, ' and an 'i.'After a final pause, Marvin gathered his strength for the last stretch. He read the 'e, ' the 'n, ' the 'c, ' and at last the final 'e, ' and staggered back into their arms.' I think, ' he murmured at last from deep within his corroding, rattling thorax, 'I feel good about it.' The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever. . Douglas Adams

He felt a spasm of excitement because he knew instinctively who it was, or at least knew who it was he wanted it to be, and once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is. Douglas Adams

Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious. Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her.“ Why’s this fish so bloody good?” he demanded, angrily. Douglas Adams

He sniggered. He didn't like to think of himself as the sort of person who giggled or sniggered, but he had to admit that he had been giggling and sniggering almost continuously for well over half an hour now. Douglas Adams

The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you'll get it. Douglas Adams

Yes. They are the words that finally turned me into the hermit I have now become. It was quite sudden. I saw them, and I knew what I had to do." The sign read:" Hold stick near center of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion."" It seemed to me, " said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane. . Douglas Adams

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. Douglas Adams

In other words - and this is the rock-solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation's Galaxywide success is founded - their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws. Douglas Adams

Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. Douglas Adams

There was a sort of gallery structure in the roof space which held a bed and also a bathroom which you could actually swing a cat in. But only if it was a reasonably patient cat and didn’t mind a few nasty cracks about the head. Douglas Adams

It was one of those pictures that children are supposed to like but don't. Full of endearing little animals doing endearing things, you know? Douglas Adams

It seemed to me, ' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane. Douglas Adams

And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to do. Physics shook its head and, looking the other way, concentrated on keeping the cards going along the Euston Road and out over towards the Westway flyover, on keeping the street lights lit and on making sure that when somebody on Baker Street dropped a cheeseburger it went splat on the ground. Douglas Adams